No beards for men.
No slacks for women at meetings/service.
No organized sports for children/teenagers.
No university education. (though this one has ebbed/flowed over the past 15 years or so)
there's a lot.. one rule that is dumb is that a brother must wear a suit for a sunday public talk that he is giving.
any other time, the brother could wear a suit coat with a different pair of pants and not be counseled for it.. another dumb idea is that you cannot date a person unless you seriously might marry them.
if you're on a date, you were supposed to always have a chaperone and holding hands might not be allowed as well as sitting together.. what other dumb rules and ideas can you add?.
No beards for men.
No slacks for women at meetings/service.
No organized sports for children/teenagers.
No university education. (though this one has ebbed/flowed over the past 15 years or so)
i guess it only took three years, but they were hell in so many ways for both of us...she was not happy and lived in denial as much as possible...i was not happy and lived in a bottle as much as possible and glad that is over for me....but it was one of the saddest things i have ever experienced in my life....as was the visit to my parents before i told her....but yes...she said she kind of expected it...was thinking something was going to happen soon as she noticed i had more and more trouble saying i love you back to her when she said it on the phone at the end of goodbyes...and when i was leaving the house...i had noticed it for over a year and it was killing me..... i told her how sorry i was for changing so much again....and that she still walks on water...and is a great person and so pretty....and that she will be ok because she was happy single before me for many years and had all she needs for that again...her closeness to jehovah and her freinds in the congregation...she is very close to both and will be ok i hope...it was very surreal....very calm...very sad.
my bitterness and disdain for wt rules came through when talking to my parents and i was very open about how i feel as to their upcoming shunning of me, and how it feels to my son since he was just 17....and how the fear of losing them had kept me trying in my marriage for the past few years...dad was firm in his position of future action....mom said they will still always love me...and will still talk to me until i get dfd.....oh how this hurts.....dad said there is a name for people who only live for themselves and deny god but could not think of what it was....i told him i was not living just for myself...that i am a good person and there are values from him and the bible i hope i always have....i cry so hard as i type this and tell you just so you can know how painful this is....i told him i so loved the rule of treating others how you want to be treated and have always done that...even allowing myself to be wronged on so many occasions to keep peace....... he said that was a good rule....i agreed and said it was a big one too....and that while i could do it...treat him the way i would like to be treated...he would not be able to!.......left as i became emotional...big hug from mom, but i just barely put an arm on dad............oompa.
Sorry to hear that, Oompa--especially the part about your parents. To face that kind of rejection from the two people who should love you the most must be devastating.
And here's the kicker: it hurts them every bit as much as it hurts you. This is truly a no-win situation for everybody. You're losing your parents--and you don't want to lose them. They're losing their son--and they don't want to lose you. But they feel they MUST lose you because of their misguided loyalty to a book publishing company who they believe speaks for their imaginary god.
I once read a statement that applies to your situation. It went something like this: 'Generally, good people will do good things, and bad people will do bad things. But if you want to see good people do bad things--that takes religion.'
i came across an email this morning from an old jw acquaintance, stating that she hasn't heard from me in a while (about 4 or 5 months) and was wondering how i am doing.
she goes into this spiel about how she is mentally exhausted from family, ministry, etc.
she then ask me to contact her at home after 3 p.m., leaving her phone number.
I don't think it's a JW thing. And you may be reading too much into it. I would even dare to suggest that she's being considerate.
Since she hasn't seen you in months, she may not know your schedule--i.e., when is a good time for you to chat. So, she told you that after 3:00 is good for her. This gives you the choice to call her at a time (after 3:00) that's convenient for you. And you have the choice to simply not call her if you don't want to.
i know i have threatened to do this before, like when i first left.
but i am thinking of going to college.
this time, i feel determined.
Hey Jeff, allow me to put in my two cents. If you can hack the math, go for engineering. While there are no guarantees when it comes to finding a job, engineers typically (1) make more money starting out and (2) have lower unemployment than liberal arts and business majors.
And the fact that you have strong communications skills will make you a rare commodity among engineers. People who are technically strong and can also communicate well can do very well for themselves.
Feel free to pm me if you have questions.
This site http://wordnetweb.princeton.edu/perl/webwn?s=superstition provides the following definition for "superstition": an irrational belief arising from ignorance or fear
That describes the whole WTS/JW theology, doesn't it? They have irrational beliefs, such as:
And these beliefs are necessarily based on ignorance--because there's no proof for them. For example, the Society cannot prove that Jesus "returned invisibly" in 1914--it was invisible! Kinda like the Emperor's New Clothes...
Finally, fear comes into play. Fear of death, fear of being ostracized from friends and family.
had our ca recently.. others have posted on the program contents in other posts here, so i won't do that here.. but i was struck by something over the 2 days of mindless repetition and out-of-context scriptural quotations: the number of times "satan" was referenced.
he was easily the 2nd-most referenced bible character, after jehovah of course, but far outpacing jesus, paul, david, etc.. "don't view porn, because you'll make satan happy..." "satan wants you to fail..." "satan is doing everything in his power to destroy your family..." "satan has succeeded in causing some brothers to give up..." "satan.....satan....satan....satan!!!".
virtually every talk included something about how satan is just waiting to do something perfectly revolting, to us personally.. i imagine this topic is covered at virtually every assembly, but this time for some odd reason, it really struck me.. what do you suppose the effect of all these "satan is going to get you!
Thanks for the synopsis, sir82. It is amazing to me that grown men and women talk about Satan, demons, etc. like they really exist and are out to get them.
I guess if you repeat something over and over for decades, you'll tend to believe it...no matter how fanciful it is.
As I reflect on my life as a JW, I'm not sure I ever really believed in Satan and demons. Whenever a JW had a "demon story" I typically dismissed it as some combination of paranoid delusions and natural phenomena. I also recall noticing that the folks with demon stories weren't "strong JWs"--they were typically the crazy ones. You know who I'm talking about--the ones with whom you didn't want to get stuck in a car group out in service.
if you were to give a brief description of what you know already of this organization, how would you define it yourself ?.
.
my definition would be a an exploitive and manipulating free wheeling religious publishing company.. i might add none of this would have been at all possible without the freedom of religion policy of the united states.. it very well started out that way and continues to this very day.. intellectually dishonest but very commercial in its intension.. .
Jehovah's Witnesses: the Sales and Marketing arm of the Watchtower Corporation.
'waiting for the real life'.
they exploit the biblical text to mean in essence that jw's 'put off' normal human life until the new world.. i never thought of the damage that does until i began to review my life history.
i have discovered that i am 35 years behind.
Great post, Jeff.
When I think of some of my JW acquaintances, I feel so sorry for them. I think of otherwise intelligent people who barely scrape by financially because they've "bought out the time" to spend 70 hours a month riding around in a car knocking on not-at-homes.
Or how about the single sister, now in her mid-40s, who made all the "right" decisions? She turned down the scholarships and pioneered right out of high school. She didn't pursue courtship because she wanted to "put kingdom interests first" and why get married now, when she could wait a few years and get a perfect man in the new system? Now, decades have passed and all she has to show for it is a four-door car, a one-bedroom apartment, a few cleaning jobs, and 25 years of full-time service.
And what about the old-timers, like the 75-year-old brother with his polyester slacks and London Fog raincoat who is out there on the corner doing street work in the mornings--just like he's been doing for years. He was raised "in the Truth" by parents who were taken in during the Rutherford years. He thought he would never graduate high school--much less get married, much less have children, much less have grandchildren, much less bury his wife, much less die--in this system. Think of all the hours he's wasted slaving for the Corporation. What does he have to show for it? Decades of disappointments and broken promises.
i know there was an article on john barr's comments at the annual meeting this year.
i've posted the reference below.
i'm wondering if they are thinking of changing the belief back to that some annointed alive in 1914 will be alive when the tribulation starts?
I agree with OTWO. They won't go back to the pre-1995 interpretation. They don't need to.
Look at the growth in publishers since 1995. I don't have the numbers in front of me, but if I recall correctly, the size of the organization has roughly doubled since then.
There are plenty of suckers sheeplike people who are buying what the WTS is selling--even without the "1914 generation" providing a time limit on this system.
so i know many of you guys say the best way to show dubs is to be all happy and all when you exit.....but not all of us are doin that well at it....even though i have lost all friends from my dub life....i really dont want to lose my son and folks....this would happen if i end this odd and painful arrangement of a marriage to a really wonderful wife who is hardcore jw.
my desire for freedom and normal social life, and the 800 lb gorilla in the room we live with are not doing so well...........i am tired of having to leave the house and go in the garage to talk on the phone with my non-dub friends.....tired of totally separate social lives.......tired of rules in place that prevent us from speaking about certain taboo topics with each other........my mental/emotional state is not well and has not been for four years.
so i spoke with my dad very openly and honestly about how i have had to wear "masks" through life....one for school since third grade to fit in....another for my parents and jw friends........and that now i still lead a double life when not around my wife........told him outright i feel jws meet every single definition of a cult btw.......he already knew i felt that way but had never said it so directly........i asked him if he felt history repeats itself and could fds not be just like the scribes and pharisees that made so many rules for gods people that they had actually corrupted gods message............he said he has wondered that before too.
Sorry to hear that, man. I know you're not surprised, though.
You should pursue the sailing thing.